What the hell is that smell? (umm ...)

I once had a boss who after exiting the bathroom made the comment "Geez, can't some people just put a bung in it until they get home?"

Yup, someone had done a real stinker in there. And it wasn't me ... this time.

An IBS friend and I were cracking up about this recently, because clearly my boss did not have gut issues.

If you've got IBS, food allergies, or gut issues you often don't have the privilege of planning when you can poop, and it's not always a nice smelling, delicate little poop either. For some IBS people it's hard to even do a poop. Which is worse? Constipation of diarrhea? I'd pick diarrhea, but really, neither is a good option.

The truth of the matter is that sometimes as a food intolerant/IBS person you're going to be the one stuck in a cubicle at work inadvertently noisily farting (oh god, the shame), while your stomach noisily evacuates, and you're holding back the groan of pain as your stomach spasms uncontrollably. This is not fun. It's painful and also really embarrassing. And sometimes it takes ages until you can leave the cubicle.

We're hoping that if you're in the cubicle next door you'll pretend you didn't hear us/smell us and leave quickly so that we can stop trying to hold in the fart and finish what we need to do in peace.

Please don't be there when we exit the cubicle, we're keen to wash our hands and escape as quickly as possible so no one ties us back to the scene of the crime. Also, please pretend not to notice when you see us back there again ten minutes later. Sometimes it takes a while to um, sort things out.

I think I'll file this under the hashtags #noonewantstotalkaboutpoop #embarrassingpoopfacts and #shithappens

Buckwheat ginger biscuits recipe

I love sweet things, but seldom eat them these days as I continue with the low sugar diet. Sometimes though, I just want a treat. Not too long ago I found this recipe online. Because of my special dietary needs (low fodmaps, gluten-free, dairy-free and a dislike of coconut flour ...) I decided to adapt the heck out of it, and surprisingly it worked. Hope you enjoy these biscuits as much as I do.

Buckwheat ginger biscuits

(Gluten free, grain free, dairy free, refined sugar free, low fodmaps)

5 tbs buckwheat flour

2 tbs tapioca flour

4 tbs olive oil

2 tbs maple syrup

1-2 tbs fresh ginger, grated (adjust to match how much you love ginger)

1/4 tsp whole fennel seeds

A few grinds of black pepper

Heat oven to 180 celsius.

– Mix all ingredients together to form a dough.

– Roll into balls and flatten to 1/4 inch on a greased oven tray.

– Bake until golden (approx 9 minutes). Cool on the oven tray to prevent crumbling.

– Eat! (yum)

Burgers! Grain-free, dairy-free, gluten-free, low fodmaps (and still delicious, honest!)

You know what I really miss? Hamburgers! Mmm ...

Recently I saw a photo on Facebook where someone had switched out the burger bun with sweet potato, which got me thinking ... surely I could make the entire burger grain-free. Turns out I can! And they're super yum.

The only draw-back to whipping up a batch of burgers is that Jelly (who lives permanently indoors) just about goes out of his mind with the delicious smell wafting around the kitchen. Check out his sad, pleading face

"Please give me some mince mum!"

Here's the recipe - enjoy!

Burgers! Grain-free, dairy-free, gluten-free, low fodmaps 

(and still delicious, honest!)

Makes approx 15-20 burgers depending on how big you make the patties

Burger Patties

1 Kg Beef mince

1-2 Zucchini (aka Courgettes) or carrots

1 Egg

1/2-1 Cup Almond meal (check that your brand is gluten-free)

Grate the zucchini, and then pat it dry with a paper towel (otherwise it'll add too much moisture to the meat patties).

Mix all ingredients (including the zucchini) together and shape into patties.

Pan fry until cooked (turning occasionally).

Note: If fodmaps aren't a problem for you, you might like to add some fried onion and spices to your burger mix.

Kumara 'buns'

Slice kumara (that's sweet potato for those of you outside of New Zealand) into rounds and roast until ready. We use an air fryer and it takes about 20 minutes.

Make it a meal

Assemble the burger, adding any yummy noms you like - I like to add a fried egg, some cucumber and spinach. Ooh delicious!

Eat and enjoy!