How to embarrass your husband part one

There have been a few moments in my life when having food allergies has just been plain embarrassing.  

However, it’s a special kind of awesome, when you get to embarrass others with your food allergies … and unfortunately for my husband, it’s him who often ends up bearing the brunt of these moments of humiliation.

Post-football eats

Have you ever been to an after-match function? The food is cheap, cheerful and full of all that stuff you need to avoid if you’re allergic to everything. 

It’s REALLY BORING watching everyone eat and drink while you sip your glass of water. 

And sometimes even I (who am totally staunch about sticking to my allergy-free diet) am tempted by the greasy hot chips. My husband is SUPER supportive of my special foody needs, and helps me to stay on track and not cheat. This can be a really tough job when I’m hungry.

Here’s how it goes:

Husband:

<munching chips and other yummy stuff talking to his soccer buddies about the match

Me:

<interrupts> “Can I smell your chips?”

Husband:

“Yup sure.” 

Me:

<inhaling deeply, drooling slightly, feeling overwhelmed with chip-lust>

Husband:

<continues eating>

Me:

 <pause> “Can I have a bite?”

Husband:

“What??? No bloody way!” <looks at me askance knowing full well the food would make me sick> 

Everyone else at the table:

 <collective gasp and looks of horror>

I can tell what they’re thinking: “Oh my god, that guy won’t let his wife eat. Such a bastard. I bet he thinks she’s fat and is trying to control her diet …” and I’m sure there are hashtags now all over Facebook #ThatGingerGuyIsAJerkToHisWife

This post is actually really big, so I’m going to post part two of How to Embarrass Your Husband tomorrow … stay tuned!

One thought on “How to embarrass your husband part one

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