Exploration of the eek kind

Warning: This is not nice. It’s gross. It’s about poop and more and you might just like to skip this one. You have been warned.

I’m meant to be writing my column for next month’s Fitness Journal (by the way, check out August’s column on gut health) … but instead, I’m thinking about how much time I’m going to be spending on the toilet next Sunday.

Yup that sounds like fun, I know.

Despite my workmates referring to it as a “holiday” (smart arses). The time I’m taking off work on the week of the 17th is NOT a freakin’ holiday. 

You see, despite being very careful with my diet (gluten free, dairy free, low fodmaps, low sugar, capsicum free and tomato free) and doing gut healing work, I still have gut pain, bloating and heartburn. It’s not fun. I also seem to be reacting to more and more foods lately. 

In just over a week’s time I’m booked in for an endoscopy and colonoscopy. Basically this involves being drugged (but not in a ‘woah let’s go party till 3am’ kind of way), and having a camera take a look at things. The cameras will be checking the digestive system, large bowel, colon and more, and there may be sample taking involved. Wow I can’t wait #sarcasm.

Prepping for this procedure is not something I’m looking forward to. 

In the lead up to the main event (like how I’m making this seem like an MMA match?), there will be a lot of poop. No food for nearly 24 hours, plus four litres of nasty stuff called ‘klean prep’. Klean prep, is designed to clean you out. Thank goodness I have that toilet paper obsession so I won’t be running out of TP at an inopportune moment. However, I won’t be leaving the house either.


A letter arrived in the mail warning me that I needed to be driven home by someone after the procedure (apparently no one likes a wasted driver), and then supervised. There’s also some very clear instructions about not making any serious decisions during this time. I’ve asked my husband to confiscate my cell phone to prevent me making inappropriate social media updates post-procedure, because I can totally see me in my half-baked state thinking that a nice butt shot would be relevant and interesting to my readers.

So yeah, this is not a holiday I’m looking forward to. Still, I’m glad to be getting things checked out!

It’s possible that there’s nothing actually wrong, but stomach pain, changes in your stools, (or poos as I like to call them), dark poop, extra light poop, runny poop, heart burn, reflux or any other gut symptoms should not be ignored. If you’re experiencing any of these problems, you should go to the doctor and get it checked out. Take action early, cos it could save your life.

3 thoughts on “Exploration of the eek kind

  1. Will you get a DVD copy of the colonoscopy? Maybe titled "Inside Story"? We could all come round for a viewing, whilst eating (dairy-free) cheese and (gluten-free) crackers?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s