I once had a boss who after exiting the bathroom made the comment “Geez, can’t some people just put a bung in it until they get home?”
Yup, someone had done a real stinker in there. And it wasn’t me … this time.
An IBS friend and I were cracking up about this recently, because clearly my boss did not have gut issues.
If you’ve got IBS, food allergies, or gut issues you often don’t have the privilege of planning when you can poop, and it’s not always a nice smelling, delicate little poop either. For some IBS people it’s hard to even do a poop. Which is worse? Constipation of diarrhea? I’d pick diarrhea, but really, neither is a good option.
The truth of the matter is that sometimes as a food intolerant/IBS person you’re going to be the one stuck in a cubicle at work inadvertently noisily farting (oh god, the shame), while your stomach noisily evacuates, and you’re holding back the groan of pain as your stomach spasms uncontrollably. This is not fun. It’s painful and also really embarrassing. And sometimes it takes ages until you can leave the cubicle.
We’re hoping that if you’re in the cubicle next door you’ll pretend you didn’t hear us/smell us and leave quickly so that we can stop trying to hold in the fart and finish what we need to do in peace.
Please don’t be there when we exit the cubicle, we’re keen to wash our hands and escape as quickly as possible so no one ties us back to the scene of the crime. Also, please pretend not to notice when you see us back there again ten minutes later. Sometimes it takes a while to um, sort things out.
I think I’ll file this under the hashtags #noonewantstotalkaboutpoop #embarrassingpoopfacts and #shithappens